Sunday, November 16, 2008

Crackpot Creations

At some point in our lives we all see someone with some sort of ridiculous gadget and wonder why the hell does that even exist? Those dreadful umbrella hats for instance, the kind that are always sold at flea market dollar stalls. For god sakes, WHY?? I wont let my self continue or i'll start ranting. Here are some more ridiculous inventions.

Even funnier than the invention itself is what the person I stole this from wrote. Here is his description word for word.
"Phone fingers are prophylactics for your digits so you don't smudge your precious iPhone screen. They come in small, medium, large and extra large, and you can get a bag of 25 of them for around $15. They are stupid and ugly, like my girlfriend. They also make you look like you've had your hand up your ass. As stupid as they are, I'm still buying a pack of the small (I wish they had extra small) to test as reusable condoms."

Tank hummer. Why the fuck....?

Just plain wrong.

Umm, noodle mask? Ever heard of a rubber band?

I defy you to find an anyone who would wear one of these.

Actually I think this one is a pretty good idea, my dog would love this! But it does look silly.

Oh please, they actually expect people to carry that thing?
"Bob do you have a nail file?"
"Yes actually, hold on...." *gets out pocket knife*
*30 minutes later* "Ah, found it! Here Fre- Fred?"

*hits forehead*

"Dude, where do you keep the bread?"
"In the giant rollie pollie thing."
"Now activating CHEESE SHIELD!"

Umm, new age cat bed possibly?

What the... am I seriously seeing a mascara brush on a pocket knife?

Why the hell would people advertise the circumference of their waist? Well, unless the really skinny people wanted to show off. Still, what was the inventor thinking?

Stair drawers??
"Ma, wheres the duct tape?"
"Third stair from the top, dear. Wait, or is it the second from the bottom?"

Does the printer use toilet paper?

"Johnny, you forgot to grab a plate for your cookies"
"Fuck plates, my mug has a cookie shelf, bitch!"

Extreme pez dispenser!!! I want one...

Marketed as a hearing aid. No, I am not kidding.

Really now, is losing the remote that much of an issue that people are willing to velcro it to their head?

Thats right ladies, they expect us to eat soup and rice out of our bras. And just incase you were wondering, the chopsticks are included.

Why does it have a door?

The Face-to-Face tandem bike is the invention of Taiwanese inventor Chen Yugang.
You FAIL, Chen Yugang, like snakes in a two legged race. (yeah i know that analogy was lame, its 5:30 am, what do you want from me?)


I have saved the most idiotic for last!
And the award for the dumbest invention EVER goes to....
*drum roll*

Thats right, your eyes do not deceive you, that is indeed a tampon with a spike on it. I know your probly hoping that the idea of this is to disguise a weapon as a tampon so that nobody suspects that your armed, but alas I must correct you on this delusion. This was seriously intended to be used exactly like a tampon. Supposedly it was designed not to hurt the user, but lets be real here, there is no way in hell that could be made safe! Why not just use a regular one? Just the fact that a woman is on her period is enough to put any man off.

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